“You call yourself a minimalist?” my brother joked as he helped move my household possessions into my new place. I knew he was kidding me, but it struck home. No matter how much you declutter before moving, when it comes to packing (and unpacking) your stuff, it still feels like you have too much. I was starting to feel like a minimalist imposter.
My two adult children and I first moved into an apartment when I returned to the Austin area as my house in Florida had not yet sold. I had donated or sold off some of my furniture before moving, so I’d need to replace a couch and other household items. Fortunately, my son had “inherited” a small couch from a housemate, so I was spared that big purchase. He also had a good amount of kitchen supplies, most of which I had given him when I moved to Florida. No need to supplement much, thankfully.
My home felt pretty full by the time my son and my daughter, who had even left most of her belongings packed up with a friend in South Bend, moved in with me. I still had one full U-Box Container in storage with all the stuff I decided I could live without until I bought a house. Now I wondered where I would put everything. I felt my minimalist imposter syndrome growing.
Over the next five months, I gradually became aware that I was buying an awful lot of stuff. Most of it was needed to supply the household and a good number of purchases were replacements. Some, truthfully, were comfort items as I navigated through the stress of moving, house hunting, and the pandemic. I bought more books and a few more tea dishes, both weaknesses of mine (though I swear they all spark joy). I hadn’t seen most of my books or tea dishes since I had packed them over a year ago. I deserve this (I told myself).
Financial stress played a role, too, as it has for many this past year. For several months, I paid both rent and a mortgage (ouch). My kids contributed to the budget, but I didn’t ask for much as I was the only one working full-time. The job was another stress point as everyone in my company was on salary reduction for five months due to the domino effects of the pandemic. Normally, I enjoy spending more on experiences, but that wasn’t possible now. Instead, we all indulged in too much take-out and mail order. That’s not how this minimalist usually lives. I was definitely a minimalist imposter.
I’m guessing many of us don’t live up to our ideals at times. I try giving myself a break, realizing that 2020 is an exceptional year (and not in a good way). The pandemic and its effects still linger into 2021. So what if we gain some weight? Buy more stuff? Indulge in our weaknesses? I know all of this, but I still have a lingering feeling of guilt or worse, hypocrisy. After all, my blog, Facebook group, and Facebook page are all about living the minimalist life. Shouldn’t I be better at this?
I look around the kitchen, wondering how it got so cluttered. Where did that air fryer come from? How did I accumulate that many spices and condiments? Then I remember that there are three adults living here, each with their own food preferences and gadgets. My closet is overstuffed as well, but I haven’t yet bought a dresser, and my “spare” closets are full of my son’s and daughter’s stuff. Holiday decorations, suitcases, and more are all crammed into my closet.
This is a temporary situation, I tell myself. I’m happy to have my kids living with me during this challenging time. Their stuff isn’t a permanent part of my household. And yet, sometimes it all makes me feel anxious and even claustrophobic. I begin to consider what I might declutter once the kids are back on their own. I begin to hesitate a little longer before purchasing anything new. I yearn for less stuff and more white space. Hmm, maybe I’m not such a minimalist imposter after all.
RESOURCES
Kondo, Marie The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
Millburn, Joshua Fields and Ryan Nicodemus Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life
Ware, Ciji Rightsizing Your Life: Simplifying Your Surroundings While Keeping What Matters Most
For more resources, go to this page: Resources
Related Blog Posts
A Minimalist Move in Troubling Times
Simple Living in Difficult Times
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Everything has a season and right now your season has a little more ‘stuff’ in it because 3 adults are living in one location and each has their own ‘stuff.’ This too shall pass. I totally get where you are coming from. However, as time goes on I too find that even though I have a lot of ‘stuff’ I’ve gotten rid of a lot too!
Yes, I thought kids had more stuff, but both of my adult kids had been living independently for years, so combining our households has been a challenge!
I think we are all there with you. Who didn’t end up buying extra toilet paper when it actually became available again or maybe order a batch of some new vegan cookies you found on-line. It has been a more than trying year, forgive yourself and look to a brighter future:)
I agree. The future will be brighter. I know I’ll miss my kids when they move out in the future, too. It’s bittersweet!