You’re moving again?! I get this response from a lot of people. I’m almost as surprised as they are. When I first moved to central Florida almost five years ago, my motivation was primarily financial. I wanted to live in a more affordable area to catch up and get ahead financially. As an empty nester, I was no longer responsible for the many expenses of raising children. I was more than ready to get rid of debt as well as the stress I felt when looking at my bank account. I had the freedom of flexibility in my life to make a move.
Two years after moving to Florida, I moved again—across town. I found a smaller house in a nice walkable neighborhood. This might be my forever house, I told myself. I could see living there as an old minimalist. I could even manage without a car when I was a very old minimalist with even poorer eyesight. And yet, half a year ago, I decided to begin the journey back to my old stamping ground in central Texas. I felt somewhat conflicted. Part of me worried I was betraying my earlier determination to stay. The other part believed I was making absolutely the right decision. As I was once again working remotely from home, I had the freedom of flexibility to move to a new location.
Too often we are held back by what we think we should do. Having made a decision, we hold onto it dearly, as if changing our mind revealed a weakness or flaw in ourselves. I was certainly guilty of this when I was younger. I didn’t consider myself rigid or stubborn; I was principled! In some cases, perhaps. In others, well, let’s just say I held onto some ideas much too long. The older I get, the more I see that being flexible and open to change is the higher principle.
But . . . isn’t changing your mind about issues hypocritical? We often rush to accuse others of hypocrisy, when they change their minds. No longer following a certain diet? Straying from a religious practice? Giving up a career goal? How dare they! Sure, some may change for trivial reasons or personal gain, but why don’t we try and give people the benefit of the doubt? I certainly don’t want to keep every belief and decision I make forever. I want the freedom to experience and grow. I want the freedom of flexibility in my life.
Why am I moving? I decided that living closer to family outweighed the possible financial advantage of staying. Once I made the decision, I knew it was the right one for me. I planned it all out. I made lists. I began decluttering again and packing up a lot of my stuff. I had a timetable for preparing my house to sell and finding a house to buy. And then, a wrench was thrown into my well-organized plans. As I write, much of the world is combatting a virus that knows no boundaries and respects no timetables. For a few weeks, I felt so frustrated, thinking “If only I had done everything earlier, I would already be in a new home!”
Then I remembered that I have the freedom and flexibility to change my plans. I am fortunate in that I have no set deadline to move. I do not have to adhere to my original plans. I often feel overwhelmed and worried, along with the rest of the world, about how this global crisis has taken over our lives. Then I take a deep breath and remind myself to take each day and each decision one at a time. Staying flexible gives me freedom and brings me peace. I’ll eventually achieve my goal of moving. For now, we all need to show flexibility to overcome this serious challenge in our lives.
RESOURCES
Babauta, Leo Essential Zen Habits: Mastering the Art of Change
Davidson, Jeff The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Reinventing Yourself
Luhr, Janet The Simple Living Guide: A Sourcebook for Less Stressful, More Joyful Living
Millburn, Joshua Fields and Ryan Nicodemus Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life
For more resources, go to this page: Resources
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Hi Shoshana! Thank you for this thoughtful post. I, too, have been stopped (or delayed) by the “should” of keeping a “commitment.” Your post reminds me that we all ebb and flow–and that change is not bad, even if we thought we never would again. I hope you are safe and healthy. I know your new home will come when it is time…or it won’t and that will work out also…
Thanks, Suzanne. You’re right – life is a matter of ebb and flow. It’s all too easy to resist change (or feel guilty about it). I think I’ve gotten better about accepting change as I get older, but sometimes I need a wake-up call!