“Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
Mark Twain
Most of the time, I don’t care about my age. It’s just a number, right? It doesn’t define you. However, when I changed decades, I found to my surprise that it does matter. Not much, but still. There’s something about the number “60” that seems daunting. It looks OLD. I don’t feel old, so why do I let it bother me?
I enjoy reading about minimalism and simple living. I also like listening to podcasts on these topics. But lately I find myself becoming impatient with some of the creators. I ask myself why I should take lifestyle advice from someone who is decades younger or from parents who have not yet survived raising teenagers or launching (sometimes re-launching) them into the world. I’m not saying they don’t have interesting topics and at times relevant information. It’s just that 3-4 decades of experience is no match for 5-6 decades. And now I’m starting to sound like a grumpy old person complaining about those young’uns who just don’t know anything.
One reason I began writing about minimalism in mid-life (despite the many other resources on minimalism out there) is because so many of the minimalist and simple living writers focus on young families and raising children. I would have enjoyed reading them back in the 1990s when I was raising children, but now I’m over it. I have adult children and a whole different set of issues. I’m an empty nester, and my life doesn’t revolve around the children so much. I haven’t found too many others in my age group sharing ideas about a minimalist lifestyle, but I know there are people out there like me—no longer in the early years of adult life but not yet in the later “golden” years.
My birthday is just six weeks before the new year, so perhaps it’s natural that my mind tends to think back on the past year and plan for a new one. Going into a new decade pushed me into looking back over the entire decade. I went through some challenging times in my 50s, some minor, some major. Upon reflection, I realize that each event had an initial negative impact but then evolved into a positive one
My last child leaves for college. -> My nest is empty. -> I can easily live in a smaller home.
My son suffers from serious depression. -> My anxiety skyrockets. -> We become much closer.
A fire destroys much of my house. -> My stress level is high. -> I can downsize more easily.
A medical test reveals cancer. -> My life goes on hold. -> I prioritize changing my life.
People sometimes accuse me of being too idealistic or optimistic, but I think that my experiences over the years have given me a broader perspective. We can choose to dwell on the negative or move forward with the positive. It may take time, but I believe something positive can come from almost any negative event. That’s the advantage of getting older.
How has age changed my views on simple living? I’ve been drawn to simplicity for decades. It certainly helped me in my earlier years when I struggled financially as a single parent. I looked at living simply more as a matter of saving money. While the resurgence of those ideas in the current minimalism movement has helped me downsize and declutter significantly, the bigger impact is how I have shifted my perspective. Sure, I want to use money and time wisely, but more importantly, I want to live with intention and joy.
With that in mind, I decide not to worry too much about the higher number. I begin to consider what I want from the upcoming year. I’ll continue doing everything I’ve enjoyed doing the past year—writing a blog and novel, reading more, shaping my weedy yard into a garden, getting more involved in my community—and add on meeting more people and increasing new experiences. And I won’t cringe when I remember that I’m in the “60s” now. At least not too much.
RESOURCES
After the Fire: Rebuilding House and Life after a Fire
For more resources, go to this page: Resources
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Love your blog, Shoshannah. My husband and I have been empty nesters for close to twenty years now, and I’m a cancer survivor who’ll be turning 70 before long, so I have an understanding of some of the changes you’ve gone through. I discovered Mininalism about three years ago. Not soon enough for it to have helped completely with our move to AZ for retirement, for we are still bailing out unneeded items and we’ve been in this house for a year and a half, but we’re getting there. As for the age thing, have you ever read this quote? “To me – old age is always ten years older than I am.” – Bernard Baruch. Ha ha ha! That’s what I’m sticking with–although some days, my body feels like old age has somehow sneaked up on me. Keep on with your blog. And I will eagerly await your novel–keep all of us in the Mid-life Minimalist family posted!
Thanks, Kay! I think we all go through some kind of challenging time the longer we live! And I have read that quote, sometimes with 15 years instead of 10! Maybe it depends on the day. 🙂 I’m almost done with the first draft of the novel. It’s about a circle of friends and romance, so not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve been having a lot of fun creating a fictional (mostly fictional!) world.