Seeking Balance

This summer has been a challenge. Looking back to last summer, I remember walking and gardening more, writing for hours at a time, and reading to my bookworm heart’s delight. Nowadays I find it a challenge to get in a short daily walk or time in the garden, if at all, and sometimes I don’t write at all for days. How did I manage to spend so much more time on my hobbies and interests last summer? Retired, you might guess? No, I was unemployed. No wonder I had so much time! Generally speaking, I enjoyed my personal life though I worried about my work situation.

Since January, I have once again been gainfully employed. I’m quite happy about getting a regular paycheck, and I like my new job and colleagues. Over the summer I had to fit in three business trips, and each time I returned home, it took several days to get back into my usual routine. The trips in themselves were sometimes stressful and sometimes fun, but the travel days, often with long hours in an airport, wore me down. By mid-August, I was just plain tired. I can’t keep doing this, I told myself. I felt old. I have too little energy and time for all the activities I want to do. Generally speaking, I enjoyed my work situation though I worried about my personal life.

Ah, the old work-life balance challenge! Isn’t one of the appeals of living a simpler life the idea that we’d be able to find that balance? But living a simple life isn’t necessarily easy. The world doesn’t simplify for us. We have to work at it ourselves. Somehow, I need to find time for the activities I love even though I have eight fewer hours in my day for them.

I decided to cut out watching television while I eat (yes, this single empty nester used television as her meal companion). I admit to enjoying television, mostly streaming shows, and I didn’t want to give it up entirely. Instead, I read at every meal when I’m dining alone and reserve a little time in the evening for relaxing with tea and a show. My viewing time has taken a drastic hit, but I’m reading almost as much as I did before the job.

I’m not a morning person, or rather, I wake up early but move very slowly the first hour or two. Nevertheless, I’ve forced myself to start walking, mowing the lawn, or doing something active before I begin work. This way I don’t waste energy during the day thinking about how I need to exercise (and the later it gets, the more often exercise gets pushed to the next day). I can’t say I love it, but I can feel a difference the rest of the day if I’ve gotten some kind of exercise in before I plop myself down in front of a computer.

When I’m really on the ball, I make meal plans on the weekend to avoid wasting time shopping or thinking about meals during the work week. I’ve automated several breakfast and lunch meals, and I usually rotate those. Dinner is my downfall. If I don’t plan ahead, I won’t always make good choices after a long day on the job. I’m not interested in cooking much, so the meals need to be simple and quick to prepare without resorting to processed frozen meals. Let’s just say this part of my life still needs improvement.

Even with these measures, I have trouble fitting in everything. There are times when I long to have unlimited funds, so I can spend time on my interests without worrying that they don’t pay. It’s a work in progress.

Then in the middle of August, I took a short vacation to visit a college friend. We had kept in touch all these (many) years but hadn’t seen each other in person since we had kids. I flew up north and as luck would have it, the weather was beautifully cool and breezy—a wonderful break from hot and humid Florida. When I arrived, she ran out to greet me with the best hug I’ve had in a long time. We stayed up too late talking, our throats sore and voices raspy before we turned in each night. We took a few long walks on some woodsy trails and explored the nearby towns. We vowed to see each other more often now that we were empty nesters.

I returned home refreshed and relaxed. Then my two children came to visit. We had a great time eating out, seeing a movie, going to the beach, and simply hanging out with each other. All in all, I took off a little more than a week from work, but I packed in a lot of activity for that amount of time. It dawned on me that my visit with an old friend had rejuvenated us both—it had been a lot of years, but when we connected, we felt some of that energy we had back in our college days. Spending time with my adult children is no work and all fun now. They don’t need me to do much for them; in fact, they help me out and even cook!

The lopsided work-life balance of the summer had righted itself to a more evenly-balanced scale. Days or even weeks may not have the balance I desire, but I can add in some breaks to counterbalance those times. In the midst of a work-heavy summer, I had forgotten a belief I often spouted. You can do it all, just not all at the same time. Finding that perfect work-life balance may seem unreachable, but if we continue to seek for it, we can come close.