Are Minimalists Holiday Killjoys?

True/False: Minimalists do not buy gifts. Minimalists get rid of the gifts they receive. Minimalists suck the joy out of holidays.

False, false, and false! There is no tablet of minimalist commandments, no required number of possessions that minimalists should own, and certainly no mandate stating that minimalists shall not enjoy giving or receiving gifts. However, most people leaning into minimalism would agree that gifts are not the main focus for a holiday and that gifts do not have to be tangible items. “Experiences over things” is our common mantra. Holidays are all about experiences, be they religious, historical, or cultural. But what to do about children who want presents? Or relatives? What if you [gasp] want gifts?!

Everyone needs to find their own way of dealing with holidays. I try to find a middle ground. My own children are adults and usually desire money or gift cards more than anything else. They have their own particular interests and style, and it’s best if they can pick out exactly what suits them.

Perhaps you have family members in that phase of life when it’s hard to make ends meet or have much left over for extras. That’s not to say that they (or you) are materialistic, but it’s understandable that experiences may not be at the top of a wish list. I try to balance out the gift cards with smaller, mostly consumable, gifts like sweets, coffee, tea, or unusual items. I also include contributions to charities in their name and sometimes tickets to an event that we can all experience together.

What if you have grandchildren or friends that expect gifts? Or you really want to give someone a gift? Again, I’d look for that middle ground. When my kids were younger, I wanted them to open up something, even if it was small, for each night of Hanukah, so I created “theme” nights to make my limited money go further and find a balance between the stuff other people gave and what I gave. There was a night for sibling exchange, relatives’ gifts, charities, consumable treats, and experiences (for example, tickets to a movie), and so on. You could adapt this or something similar for Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate that traditionally involves gift giving.

Looking back, I think the secret to making this strategy work was that my children were not inundated with gifts during the year, so even the small ones they received were big deals. If your family and friends are used to getting gifts on a regular basis, you might want to consider minimizing this going forward. Explain that you don’t want more stuff in your home and ask people to consider focusing more on consumable gifts or experiences.

It’s easier to minimize gifts for myself these days because I’m older and in a better financial situation than I was years ago. I’d like to think it’s because I’m also wiser and value experiences and relationships over stuff. I appreciate spending time with friends and family, visiting places, and having new experiences. So no, I would never say that minimalism takes the enjoyment out of gift-giving holidays, just the opposite. Minimalism can help you take holidays to the next level, one focused more on meaning and experience.