Back in the early 1980s, I moved to Germany to be with my German fiancé. I had already started learning German in the U.S. and had read as many books as I could about the country. There had been about a dozen other German students living in our university co-op, so I had some exposure to hearing the language and getting to know some other Germans before I landed in my new country. The standard of living was similar to the U.S., so I didn’t expect too many surprises, especially compared to my experiences in the U.S.S.R. and some other countries. I was also aware of the American influence on post-war West German society. How different could it really be? Oh, the naivete of youth!
Going native – I meet a friend wearing traditional southern German clothing.
My life in Germany was also the beginning of my life as an independent and married adult. It was the first time to set up and manage my own home, and at the same time I was learning to navigate my way in a foreign country speaking in a foreign language. I’ll admit that at times it was hard. Sometimes I cried with frustration. While all of our German friends had studied English, it didn’t mean they were fluent or felt comfortable speaking it, so my husband was a constant translator that first year.
I eventually gained fluency in the language, but the differences in the life there went beyond language. I had traveled to other countries before, including Germany, but it’s one thing to tour or study in a foreign country, quite another to live in another country. The six years I lived in Germany may not have been a long time, but they were important years for my adult life and have influenced my views to this day. Looking back, I realize now many aspects of life there led to and fit in with my preference for simpler living. Here are a few that made the biggest and long-lasting difference in my journey to live more simply:
Smaller living spaces make life simpler. I had been living in Texas, where everything is bigger, but even outside of Texas, the average American home is big, especially in the suburbs. In Germany, living spaces are usually smaller, the rooms are fewer, and there may be just one bathroom (gasp). When we visited a couple with three young children, I was shocked at how well they managed in a small, two-bedroom apartment.
Eventually, I adapted to the smaller scale and came to appreciate that a smaller home meant less maintenance. A smaller home means less stuff you can store and less space you must clean. When I returned to the U.S., apartments and houses all seemed needlessly large.
Fewer choices save time and energy. If you go into an American supermarket, you can easily find a dozen brands for bread, cereal, and other common products. A Czech student of mine said that when she first came to the U.S., she’d spend over two hours every time she shopped. In the beginning it was a fascination with the abundance, but it soon became confusing and time-consuming. How to decide? Is X really better than Y? How is it better? Which one is cheaper?
I like variety, but too often there are so many options of everything that it’s easy to get overwhelmed and experience decision fatigue. The average German grocery is smaller with fewer choices of each product. Sure, it’s nice to have a selection, but too often that’s taken to an extreme as if more is always better. Smaller stores meant fewer choices, but it also meant shorter shopping excursions and more time to do something else.
Eating seasonally tastes better. As a newly independent adult, I had little experience grocery shopping and very little idea which fruits and vegetables were in season during the year. Honestly, I never thought about it because I could find berries and tomatoes in winter at an American supermarket. Of course, they’d cost more because they’d been flown in from afar, but they were available.
During my first year in Germany, I had to learn fast because the store or market didn’t have much out-of-season produce at any price. This meant I needed to plan meals according to what was available at that time of year—what a concept! (Remember I was very young and had a lot to learn.)
Years later, when I was teaching international students, I would hear them complain how the produce in America tasted like nothing. They longed for the flavorful fruit and vegetables in their native countries. In our desire to have everything available all the time, many fruits and vegetables are harvested too early and shipped too far. It’s no wonder they lack the flavor of seasonal foods.
Public transportation provides independence. If you live in New York City or one of the few cities in the U.S. with good public transportation, you have probably used the subway or other forms of transport. Most of us in America, though, have to rely on cars. This took some adjustment on my part because except for short visits abroad, I’d never used public transport for everyday activities.
At first, it seemed inconvenient to wait around for a bus, lug all the shopping onto a tram, or navigate which routes took me where. However, I soon learned how much freedom it gave me. We had a car at first but used it mostly to travel outside the city. When we did drive into the city, it was a huge hassle to find parking, which was often far away from where we wanted to go. The buses had many stops and were rarely more than 15 minutes apart (except holidays). I could just hop on one and go wherever I wanted, no parking needed.
After living in the U.S. for many years, I got used to driving my car everywhere, but visits to my sister in NYC reminded me of the joy of car-free living. We could go to the theater or restaurants or museums without the extra cost and inconvenience of parking. In addition, students who can’t afford cars or older people who don’t drive anymore could still be independent and get around.
Friends who have lived abroad often relate similar experiences. We discuss how we miss the markets with locally-grown food or the convenience of going to a city center and not worrying about parking. Fortunately, over the years, more American cities have farmers’ markets and some are developing better public transportation to combat growing traffic problems. However, while tiny houses may be popular with a small group of people (and house show viewers), the size of the average American house continues to be unnecessarily large.
My father used to joke that I tended to swim upstream, and that’s often true in the average American stream. I moved to a smaller house in an area where I could ride a bike or take a bus more easily. I try to buy produce that’s more in season and when I can, grown locally. Living simply wasn’t always easy while I adjusted to life in Germany and it isn’t always the easiest way now, but I know that it’s added to my quality of life.
My first German town
RESOURCES
Gilbert, Elizabeth Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia
Oxenreider, Tsh Notes from a Blue Bike: The Art of Living Intentionally in a Chaotic World
At Home in the World: Reflections on Belonging While Wandering the Globe
For more resources, go to this page: Resources
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Cute pics! I have only been to Europe once to Croatia but would love to go back and see other countries. I totally understand what you are say on all counts. Wish there were more mom & pop walk able grocery stores carrying only the in season produce and other necessities without driving so much and eating better. I love the quality of the buildings, materials and design I saw in Europe. In our new home we incorporated a lot of the European design that you do not see much here. I would love to see more change in this direction.
Caren – I fear American society keeps going more into the bigger is better mode. Stores, businesses, and schools are consolidated in the name of efficiency and cost, but we also lose a lot of the quality and personal features when so much is mainstreamed into bigger organizations.
I lived for a year in Switzerland – I was in boarding school, but spent a lot of time in the small home of a teacher and his family. I really do think here in the States we’ve lost our damn minds with houses. My current home has three bedrooms and one bathroom – built in 1945 when that was a standard family home. It’s 1200 SF and now that it’s just two of us, feels too big. I look forward to buying or building a smaller house when we retire and move.
I can’t even watch house shows that focus on the huge homes people want. They are just so wasteful! I have a home build in 1953, 3 bedroom/1 bathroom, 1000 sq. ft. I’m sure it was built for a couple with a child or two. I suits me quite well. However, the yard is huge! That’s how they used to build homes: small house, big yard. Now I look back with amazement at my first two houses, which seem huge to me now (1825 sqft & 2550 sqft) even though I had 2 kids at home.
Shshanah,
I really enjoy your blogs. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thanks for reading, Miranda!