Minimalist Travels: A Short Trip though the Cycle of Life

Last week I took a short trip back to Austin, my former hometown. Determined to walk the walk as a minimalist, I packed as lightly as I could: one small suitcase and one carry-on backpack. I packed a little more than the last time I visited, but the purpose of this trip was different. Last time I traveled to Austin, I went for one purpose only: fun. I planned to enjoy all my time with my son and friends. This time I had two big events: a life memorial and a milestone birthday.

My younger brother Dennis had been married to Joni for 30 years. When I heard the sad news of her passing, I quickly checked flight prices (important for an unemployed minimalist) and the availability of a friend’s guest room (she immediately texted “yes”). My brother had been there for me during my cancer surgery, and I wanted to be there for him during this sad time. I packed an extra outfit, somber but nice, for the memorial on Tuesday afternoon.

Joni

I never got to know Joni very well as we mostly lived in different places, but I had gone to the wedding and seen her briefly over the years. During the memorial, no one spoke about what she had owned, how she had dressed, or what kind of car she had. They spoke of her good deeds, her faith, her character, and her sweet nature. She loved my brother and their two children unconditionally, and she had a smile that could light up a room. It brought home the message that who you are rather than what you have is what’s most important.

On a more joyous note, I also celebrated life that week. I decided to stay a few extra days to mark a big birthday—my 60^th (gasp!). Now, I don’t usually dwell on age, but the number 60 is rather daunting. It just sounds OLD. Despite that, I consider myself a mid-lifer (still), perhaps because I haven’t yet retired. Having just been to a memorial for my sister-in-law, who passed away at a younger age, I shook off my ambivalence about turning 60 and instead embraced it. I met with my son and friends over the two remaining days, and on my birthday, my son, host-friends, and I celebrated at my favorite restaurant.

Roy and Karen, the friends I stayed with, contributed to my celebratory mood. They were newly retired and were appreciating this phase of their life. One of their sons and his family lived in Austin, and they enjoyed their two granddaughters immensely (as did I). They travel to the other son’s family a few times a year, have a good circle of local friends, and are involved in various activities. It makes me look forward to the day when my own adult children are more settled into their lives and (hopefully) have families of their own.

A long friendship

I met Karen through her younger sister, Janet, who I had met in high school. They came from a military family and had moved around a lot. I had also moved around a lot due to my father’s academic career and various family circumstances. We don’t have friends from our early youth, but Janet and I have managed to stay connected for 45 years now. She lives in Germany, as I did long ago, and on my birthday, she called to give her good wishes. It seems incredible that we’ve known each other through so many stages of life.

The evening before my departure, my hosts, their son, his wife, their two young children, and I sat around the dinner table. It was a little noisy and chaotic as life with little children often is. I reflected how we represented the various stages in the cycle of life. The week had begun with marking the end of one life and finished in the midst of many lives. It had been an intense yet joyful week, another reminder that acquiring and owning things mean so much less than being and experiencing life with friends and family.