Home Alone

I’m home alone a lot. I have a very minimalist household. I have Rosie the dog and Zac the cat to keep me company, but the kids are launched and out of the house. I have no spouse or other live-in partner/housemate. I also work remotely, so while I can email, message, and talk to colleagues, I never see them in person. There are days when the only people I see or talk to might be a stranger on my walk or the person adding up a purchase.

I’ve also moved to a new city, and while I’ve begun to gather acquaintances, I don’t really have true friends except the one I knew before moving here (who’s been great, but who wants to become “that needy friend”?). Am I lonely? Nope! Sure, I miss my kids and friends, but for the most part, I’m perfectly content. After decades of living with my immediate family, then a boyfriend or husband, and lastly, my kids, I cherish my solitude!

Am I a misanthrope? No. Do I suffer from social anxiety? No. Am I a loner? Sometimes. An introvert? Not entirely. In fact, I enjoyed working in an office because I liked my colleagues and the social interaction. Then slowly but surely, my colleagues began working from home one day a week, then two, and before you knew it, the office was half empty. I resisted at first, but going to the office wasn’t much fun when it was half empty, so I, too, began to work from home, slowly but surely.

Someday I hope to work among colleagues again, but for now, my home is my office. It’s certainly convenient. It saves time commuting. No need to waste time or gas money. Truthfully, I’m more productive working from home with no colleagues to interrupt me with friendly chatter (or I them). Working remotely also allowed me to move halfway across the country without changing jobs.

I enjoy my simple life at home. Nevertheless, I realize the importance of social interaction, and I do wish to meet new people. I need to get out more now that I am finally settled into my new home in my new city. I began to venture out, first exploring the local Jewish community and then signing up with some Meetup groups. I went to local festivals and a volunteer fair to gather information on causes I might join.

Soon my calendar began to fill up. I started playing mah jongg with some women at my synagogue. I drove to unfamiliar parts of town to new restaurants for Meetup events. I even had to turn down a lunch invitation from my one friend I knew when I moved here because my weekend was full. It was a weird sensation after all these months of doing everything on my own. I barely remember names because the people at events often change, but it’s a beginning. I’m meeting lots of people and we’re sharing our stories.

I have a good time when I’m out meeting people, but eventually my introverted, loner self re-emerges. I thankfully return home, shut the door on the outside world, go out onto my patio, sit and read and watch Zac chasing a lizard in the corner and Rose enjoying the backyard. Ahhh, I’m home. Home alone.