I have come to love the color gray, literally and metaphorically. Perhaps it’s a sign of age. Gray doesn’t feel old or drab to me. It feels calm and peaceful.
I’ve come to view many aspects of life in shades of gray. When I was younger, I was often black and white in my thinking. I didn’t consider myself to be rigid. I was sticking to my principles! No compromises!
However, as I’ve gained more experience in life (aka gotten older), I’ve loosened up. I see more perspectives and nuances in almost everything, sometimes to the point of indecision. It’s easier to see life in terms of black and white, but despite the confusion that blurring the boundaries may cause, I feel more content viewing life through a gray lens.
In the minimalism movement, I’ve noticed a few issues that pop up frequently and evoke strong feelings, often with no middle ground. Some focus on decluttering to the extreme (I can live with owning just twenty possessions), some emphasize staying out of debt in all cases (no mortgages allowed), others advocate banning television or other electronics, and so on. I sympathize with some of the opinions because I remember taking more extreme positions when I was younger. But here’s the thing: you’re allowed to change your mind.
I grew up hearing about bad debt (credit cards) and good debt (education, housing). More recently, I’ve heard some minimalists and personal finance gurus insist that “no debt is good debt.” I agree to a point, but I’d say that sometimes debt may be acceptable, even if not completely desirable. You’ve got to be smart about it. I wouldn’t borrow $100,000 to pay for college, but it’s extremely difficult these days to pay your way entirely by working, even when attending state schools. My kids and I had to take out some loans for college, but without them, college would have been postponed for who knows how long. You may make a different decision. For us, it was acceptable debt.
Depending on where you live, paying a mortgage may cost the same or even less than renting. I’ve managed to have substantial down payments with 15-year loans on most of my houses, which made the mortgage more affordable. It’s not for everyone, but for me, this debt is acceptable. Go in with your eyes open and don’t count on making a bundle if you sell. No guarantees. I’ve sold several houses—been lucky a couple times and broke even a couple times. Thankfully, I’ve never lost, but it’s always a bit of a gamble. Every situation is a different shade of gray.
On to a more trivial, though more dominant, issue in our lives: television. I see some minimalists disparaging all television watching and ban it from the home. When my kids were young, I was strict about the amount of television they could watch. Frankly, with school and other activities, there wasn’t much time for it. This was before the age of streaming and relatively affordable laptops, so it was easier to control.
I got cable for the first time In my mid-40s. I loved discovering all the shows I had heard about for years but never seen. I admit I went a little crazy for a while watching a lot of television. I eventually came to my senses and cut back, but I still enjoy a few shows. Like most things, television and other devices can be used or abused. I limit my viewing now, but I enjoy it too much to give it up entirely. I found my shade of gray.
You may agree or disagree with my views or with other minimalists’ views and that’s fine. There is no one way. The shades of your life now may be different from when you had kids at home or later when you reach various milestones in your life. Looking at life and minimalism in shades of gray will help you evaluate what works best for you right now. I’m sticking with gray for the most part. Who knows? Maybe someday I’ll even let my hair go gray.
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