Decluttering the Mind

It’s a wee hour in the morning and I’m wide awake. I’m not sure why. I tried to force myself back to sleep, but then the inevitable happens. My mind wakes up. It starts talking to me. Go back to sleep! Work starts in a few hours! Why can’t I sleep? What do I need to do today? How am I going to handle that work issue? Which colors should I choose for my new house? And the floors—tile or wood? Maybe bamboo, that’s a better “green” choice. I wonder how much solar panels would cost?

I can’t wait to show the new place to my kids on their next visit. I wonder how my daughter is doing. Grad school is so intense, and I don’t want her to burn out. My son is handling stress better now that he’s gotten into meditation. I should meditate. That will help me sleep. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Damn, I have to pee. I get up, use the bathroom, and climb back into bed. By now, Zac the cat has realized that I’m awake, so he hops onto my pillow, backs himself into my face, and settles down for a very early morning cuddle. His purring is loud and rhythmical. Despite the cat fur in my face, I start to relax to the sound of his purrs. Then the alarm rings.

I don’t know how many men experience this, but almost every mid-life woman I know is familiar with this kind of night. When I was younger, I never had trouble sleeping. Then came menopause and a few sleepless years. I finally got over it. Then came the cancer surgery, which messed up my hormones all over again. I still haven’t settled down to my sleep patterns of long ago. It’s not falling asleep that’s the problem, but if I wake up before morning, the clutter of worries, unsolved problems, regrets, future plans, and more can keep me up for hours.

I realize that I have too much going on right now with my job and moving to a new house that needs some work. I probably shouldn’t have registered for a summer school class, but I felt that learning something new would refresh my spirits and it has. Now I have homework and quizzes and tests to add to my days. I’m trying to cross off as many tasks as I can, but it’s an uphill battle. I know that in the next two months, the class will end, the move will be done, and eventually, my life will settle down, but it’s rough going at the moment.

A couple of friends and at least one doctor suggested medication to help me sleep, but I hesitate to go that route. I want to tackle the source of the problem. I’ve read the advice to stop eating a couple of hours before sleeping, to stop looking at screens late at night, to keep a totally dark room, and to avoid all caffeine after lunch. Done. Some people advise draining our brains once a day by writing down every little thing you can think of that might be on your mind. That helps a bit.

In a Facebook group about podcasts several people suggested podcasts that help them sleep. One host reads classic children’s stories and another narrates stories that become deliberately more boring the longer they go on, so you naturally fall asleep. I started listening to them and rarely make it to the end, so that’s another good strategy. Many suggest meditation, and I’ve started to practice again, slowly but surely. The suggestions have helped and I’ve gone from an average of three sleepless nights to about one a week. Not perfect, but making progress.

People new to minimalism tend to focus on the physical clutter of their surroundings, but there’s much more to minimalism or simple living than decluttering the stuff. Eventually, most of the superfluous physical stuff will get cleared out, so we need to move beyond that. We need to think about our routines, schedules, and those endless “to do” lists.

Whether we are raising kids, building a career, or adjusting to mid-life with or without kids and career issues, we rarely have enough time for everything. Yet we often cannot break the habit of piling on obligations. It’s all too easy to lose ourselves in the busyness of life. We need to change that and go to the next level in living a meaningful life. We need time for ourselves. We need health. We need peace of mind. Maybe then, we can sleep undisturbed all night long and awaken refreshed.