Bittersweet Addiction

I am addicted to all things sweet. I have always had a sweet tooth. Seriously, it’s out of control. I know that sugar in all its forms does not add anything healthy to my life. I’ve tried abstaining from sweets altogether, but that just doesn’t work for me (so far). I feel unhappy when I contemplate giving them up. If you’re one of those people who can change a habit with a snap of the fingers, good for you. I just can’t go cold turkey on sugar. Not yet. Please don’t judge me.

I’ve managed to accomplish a good deal in my personal and professional life (pardon the immodest boast), and yet, I have this one glaring weakness. I don’t control my food cravings well, and this frustrates me to no end. I’m overweight and while I do exercise, I know that controlling my food intake is even more important. I could blame my mother and how she used food to control us kids or blame my job and how stressful it is, but what’s the point? I need to conquer this issue on my own terms, so I’m taking steps.

I consume most sweets an hour or two after dinner when I have my evening tea. I have decided on the first step to break this habit. I allow something sweet with dinner (when I’m full and hopefully not want much), but once dinner is over, that’s it. I can have tea but no dessert with it. The kitchen is closed! Project “Minimizing Dessert” is on!

I kept a journal to track my progress. Here are some of the entries:

• First day was a holiday—Independence Day. Bad timing on my part. I went to a potluck dinner and had some dessert there, but once I returned home, I abstained. Tea only.
• Had a little bit of chocolate at dinner and stopped once I cleared the dishes away. So far, so good.
• Went to Happy Hour and had an appetizer and a frozen strawberry margarita (a kind of dessert). I was tempted to grab something sweet when I got home, but since my appetizer dinner had been finished an hour earlier, I resisted. Pat on the back.
• I usually have a special treat on weekend evenings, but I managed to eat it immediately after dinner and stick to tea later on. It’s still tempting to sneak a small treat in with tea.
• I had too many cookies right after dinner and felt bloated the rest of the evening. Serves me right. Lesson learned.
• Met up with a minimalism group at a coffeehouse right after dinner, so getting a dessert would still be in line with no sweets past dinnertime, right? No. That’s cheating.
• Feeling blah all day at work. Feeling blah all evening. I could make an exception, but I stuck to my resolution. Whoever said “just do it” must be a robot.
• Why did I buy that chocolate bar? I want it! I had a tough day at work. I’m stressed. So what if I eat dessert at tea time this ONE time? Aaaaah! OK, deep breath.
• It’s been over a month now, and I’ve successfully stopped eating dessert after dinner time. I feel better heading to bed when I’m not so full, so that’s one benefit. I have not lost much weight, but to be fair, I haven’t cut back a lot yet (my sweet tooth still craves the same amount to prepare for the post-dinner “deprivation”). Work in progress.
• I decided to abstain from anything sweet (except fruit) during the day – only with dinner could I indulge. Sadly, I have not kept that resolution. I was sick last week and indulged, though at least I did not backtrack on the tea-only policy at night. Baby steps.

After a few months I decided that I wanted to relax and have dessert with tea on Shabbat (Friday) evening. I was afraid this might be a slippery slope to crazy late night eating, but I’ve managed to keep it under control most of the time. I know what you’re thinking: STOP THE PRESSES! BREAKING NEWS! Middle-aged woman gives up late-night desserts! OK, so it’s not earthshaking, but I’ve tried to do this for decades and always failed. Lifestyle habits are the hardest ones to change, but it is possible. Just as I’ve decluttered so much else in my life that doesn’t add value, I’ll continue to work on minimizing my sugar habit.

 

 

Suggestions

• Know thyself! Be flexible in making and breaking habits. I want to be an “abstainer,” but I realize that I’m more of a “modifier” (see Gretchen Rubin’s work for these terms and many strategies about building habits).

 

• Don’t judge others’ ability to make or break habits based on your personality.

 

• When breaking unhealthy habits (food, smoking, couch potato-ism), remember that doing less is still better than doing nothing. Don’t give up just because you can’t quit 100%.

 

RESOURCES

 

Babauta, Leo Essential Zen Habits: Mastering the Art of Change, Briefly

Rubin, Gretchen  Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits–to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too) 

For more resources, go to this page: Resources